I’m doing too good at the moment, ED-wise, that I don’t want to risk ruin it. That’s why I’ve kept quiet for a while. Soon, the facade will break and I’ll be back to where I started.
I'm Arcadia. People say I used to be normal, but now I'm not. Actually, now that I think about it, what is "normal"? Looking back, I realize I've never been so called "normal”. I’ve been struggling with panic disorder all my life.
Lately I've fucked up big time, lost a good career in running, lost my best friends and lost weight. I can't handle being alone, so that's why Boyfriend is around. Without him, I think I'd kill myself. Honestly.
Been diagnosed with severe depression, panic disorder and eating disorder. I'm always about to go to the Doc's. You see, when my depression is under control, my eating disorder turns up and messes with me. And the other way around.
I used to be an over-exerciser. Orthorexic. I used to binge once a week and exercise all calories away. Then I gave up training. My panic disorder scared me once again. So I started to lose weight, which became my new obsession instead of working out. EDNOS with anorexic tendencies my doctor says. Then I decided to do something about it and wanted to eat properly again, which made me binge and purge as well in fright. So now I'm currently in recovery for Bulimia Nervosa. Although I think it's pretty stupid because I don't see myself as a full-blown bulimic. At all.
chaptersofarcadia